Since I moved to USA almost 5 years ago, there has been one thing that shocks me on a daily basis. Adults openly admit that they beat up their children! In Utah, this is openly accepted and Utah being highly blanketed by the LDS church and its beliefs – that seems to be one of the main reasons I hear people say that they do it. Many times with a sick smile on their face. When I ask if they beat up their spouses too I always get aggressive answers in return. I keep “forgetting” that hitting an adult is against the law but you can beat up you child all you want since that is legal.
15% of children in USA are spanked before their first birthday! This is only the ones that admitted that they had done it. What horrible wrongdoing could have a tiny pre-verbal baby have done that deserved being abused? It is not rocket science to teach them what is right and what is wrong. If the only solution was to hit them, you are not responsible or moral enough to take on the paramount task of parenthood.
The argument I always hear is that “I was spanked and I turned out fine.” When you deal people that have been spanked, you quickly notice that they are not fine. They are violent (beating up their kids, spouses, pets..), they get extremely aggressive when someone is disagreeing with them, any discomfort for them causes aggressive/violent reactions towards anyone that they think are the culprits of their displeasure, they have addiction issues, less verbal (who needs words when you can beat someone), depression and so on.
Here’s an example of a reaction from a person that was spanked as a child. Today I saw a Facebook video of a woman saying that parents need to spank their kids with vengeance. I posted a little fact sheet of the bad things spanking does to the children. It had different studies about the subject in a very, easy to read format. After I posted it, I got “personally” attacked and decided to delete the facts and unfriend the person that posted the video. I say “personally” because I know now, that it was their inner child trying to defend their lazy parents beating them up instead of raising them with negotiation and universal moral standards. All the attacks had nothing to do with me personally. All the parents posting these “spanking is awesome” -videos/blogs are wanting society to form an echo chamber of amoral agreement so they themselves don’t have to burrow into the deep dark hole that is our true self. It makes me sick. I feel sick for the children who have to bare these heavy burdens from a culture who pretends to care for the children while at the same time the children are being thrown to the wolves by those same people.
I can only imagine how hard it is to believe that the only way to resolve conflict is with violence – since that was the only thing you were thought. I hope that someday spanking is going to be illegal in the US. I hope I will be here to see the drop in violent crimes and the increase in IQ across the social board. To have people around me that want to have constructive conversations without the use of violence, force or passive aggressive substitutions, would be a world I could begin to admire.